A Matter of Trust

Trust: firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something.

Proverbs 3:5-6 ‘Trust in the Lord with all you heart. Do not lean on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths.”

This has been my life verse since I was a little girl.  I even painted it around the ceiling border of my bedroom when I was growing up.  It seemed simple back then. “Trust God and He will show what to do and where to go”  I believe with all my heart that I did trust Him and He did direct my paths.  He brought me Eric, my wonderful husband for whom I am daily thankful and with whom I am daily deeply in love!  He led us to Togo. Though it was a long and winding path, I know that God was in the lead.  I know I am where God wants me, yet the question of trust continues to swirl through my heart and mind.  

In the Old Testament God repeatedly told the Israelites to remember what He had done for them, so that they would trust Him in their future.  He was telling them to look at the the good things He had done for them in relation to their future.  He wanted them to trust Him.

But why is it that what God does is good? It is because He is good.  So, although He was saying look at the good that I have done, really that which God does is just an evidence of who He is.  Trusting God for what He does is just a place to start trusting Him for who He is.  

I think that this is where God has me now.  I am in transition between trusting God for what He does and trusting Him for who He is.  What is the difference? The difference is huge! It means that I get to a place that my trust in God is based on the truth that He is good and is completely independent of what He does. To be able to trust God in this deep way is crucial to living a life that is independent of my own understanding.  It is crucial to living life in view of eternity.

The crisis of trust comes when life hands you circumstances that from any human reasoning are not good.  A most extreme example would be the Christian who is persecuted for their faith and eventually martyred.  This is not something we would usually point to in order to prove that God is trustworthy or good, yet He is. He does not change. 

I am not writing because I have figured out this mystery of trusting God with all my heart.  I am writing because I am on a journey, and I suspect I am not the only one.  What do I do with the dissatisfactions of life, my fears of the world in which I live and the inability to change my circumstances.  What do I do with these very real struggles in light of the truth Jesus spoke when He said He came to give us abundant life.  Right now the only things that seem to be abounding are disease, pestilence, death, suffering and chaos! 

Draw me deeper LORD!  Get me to a place where I see you clearly, without life getting in the way.  Clear out the circumstances, the struggles, the emotions, the fears, the disappointments, the pain, and let me see you.  “Blessed are the pure in heart for they shall see God” Matt 5:8.  Oh God, rid me of all this extra stuff in my heart so that I can see you for who you are.  I want to know you, I want to trust you.